A Crap of a short story- This is not an April Fools Joke.

I wrote this three years ago. It is one of my short stories. 

It is 2:41 am. 

The house is all quiet and I am watching stupid commercials. The height of the commercial this evening is Poo---Dog Pooh--dung--manure--crap. It is all the same. It is left over waste materials from a living organism.  

Those waste materials play much more an important role in life than just sticking to the bottom of a shoe. It is a natural occurrence. It happens daily, every second if someone took count:anywhere possibly imaginable too like on the toilet, the woods, near trees, in the ocean or a pool of water, on the side of someone's house, out a window, on a porch, or in one's pants--pooh can occur. 

Treated waste enhances the best fertilizer on the market. You can buy it all day long at any home and garden department or store. A person pays top money for good pooh--the fresher the better. Treated waste water is used in the fountains at Las Vegas. In a lot of cases, treated waste water comes out of the water facet. 

If you doubt my word, then you need to read the information from this website

https://water.usgs.gov/edu/wwreclaimed.html  

Next time you see a pretty flower growing wild, pick it and sniff. You have just picked up something and handled it from where 1 million birds having pooped on or a squirrel has tinkled on. Might even have a fresh little scent of lizard vomit. 

You know the big red woods in California. Well pre- water pollution legislation, the bear would drink from the waste water nuclear stream and poop on a standard tree...hence we have humongous red woods via the California grizzly.  

Pooh in our lives is important. It serves a purpose. A vital one.  

We eat seafood all the time. What do you think shrimp eat? Other fish pooh. Therefore, we are pooh eaters. Well come on now...We eat unborn embryos all the time--cooked of course, eggs! Chickens eat pooh and we eat chickens. Fried roe come from pooh eaters too.  So, we can probably be called a culture of "Pooh eaters." That is probably why we accept so much crap in our lives.  

If you get cold and the heater goes out, what is the most natural way to heat the house? Go out get and get several piles of horse manure. Flatten it out in the living room, cover it with a rug, and put down a little freshener. I guarantee, you house will stay warm. That is the way is was done by the Indians and many settlers. Except they didn't use Berber Carpet. They used dried animal skin.

Why would anyone pay as much as $180 to pick up what is going to be recycled anyway by nature? 

While many are picking up the pooh be sure to get that squirrel feces over by the base of the tree. Get that bird poo next to that couple on the blanket over there laying on a bed of worm urine. 

We just wouldn't want to ruin those designer shoes or get any germs now...would we? 

Have a blessed day. May God protect you always.