Do you know me?

Do you know me? Not hardly. Does anyone ever know anybody? Maybe and then again maybe not. Why ask this most precarious topic? Just because it is uncertain and can change at any moment. To begin with, no one really knows anybody until you live with them. Outside a few relatives on my social media page, there is only one other person who truly knows me and more so than my own children. And, you will never know exactly who that person is. It is not my ex-husband because of his job, we barely lived together. 

You may think, "I know her because nothing to her seems sacred." You are 1/4th correct.  

I know her:

1, because of her liberal views

2. because she is a christian conservative

3. because she is or was a major party animal

4. because she writes about her life and everything dealing with her

5. just because I have known her for years- her likes and dislikes

Partially correct but only 1/4th of truth that you may or may not know me. 

Let me introduce myself:

I am a sinner. I believe in the individual person and not the political party ideology. One minute I am supporting liberal and the next conservative. The political part isn't important because over half of America has never read a true published political platform (ideology) in their entire lives. By the way, political parties are constantly realigning when they change their underwear, their wives, their girlfriends, or their sexual habits. I can name some people (politicians) who are exceptions to the standard rules because they are true leaders in every sense of the word and honest with themselves. Not everyone likes his stance because he is a republican but a very honorable family man with any hopes will take the national political stage in the near future. I know another political figure (a relative) of the democratic party that needs to be more in the political arena. He too is a great leader. 

If I don't know a subject, I try to find out. I don't know everything. Due to medicines and illness, I am missing my entire upper teeth and the bottom are fast falling out as well. My left eye has trouble staying open and my right jaw line drops horribly when I smile.  I may lose weight, but my chest always remains the same size. It just sags more. I have to wear a panty girdle to lift the lose skin around my hip area so I don't look like a weeble that falls down all the time. 

I have gray hair and numerous scars from surgeries. I have extremely depressed days and cry when it rains. I live with my son. He doesn't live with me. But, not for long because he officially has a girl friend that he is engaged too. My daughter lives with her husband and their two children, so in October I will be truly living by myself for the first time in 35 years, Scary thought too! I look forward to it for personal reasons which will not be disclosed. 

I believe in the second amendment in the famous Bill of Rights. I call an AR-15 and an M-16 assault weapons because they are associated with war and or riot gear. I do know they are by definition not really assault weapons because they are not modified to be sold as automatic weapons and that AR stands for ArmaLite. They are truly modern sporting rifles that can be modified by an intelligent gun smith or private individual that knows how.  The most powerful weapon on the earth is the brain because it will kill you faster than a weapon of any kind. Weapons are tools. A shot gun does the same trick as an AR -15 or M-16. If there are three (3) home invaders and you shoot one, trust me the other two are going to "haul ass", run like hell and not wait to see if you killed the other one. They won't even notice the type of gun your have. Not using your brain and fear is the biggest cause of death. Besides we are all going to die anyway. If it is your time, no gun or self defense will stop it. 

In the Bible it is written:

Now concerning the times and the seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written for you. For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, ""There is peace and security," then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. (I Thessalonians 5.1-3)

I don't own a gun because I can't see to shoot them. I have been in one attack by a dog, (a pit bull), and three attempted assaults gone bad, propositioned for sex and thought by some to be homeless because of the way I dress while on the sidewalk on my scooter (a mobility device). Trust me not by my actions. I was very upset when propositioned because I always thought I was worth more than $20.00.

I have been in the position to physically protect my daughter from lecherous men yearning for her when she was 6 and again at 14 years old. I was offered $50,000 for her when she was 6 to raise her for marriage to a wealthy Vietnamese national. She was stalked by a neighborhood serious child molester when she was 14 years old. I won and broke my foot in the process. 

I have worked with my son, when a friends high school mother took an overtly extreme liking to him. He never went down that path. He looked far beyond his years in high school and that mother had some highly active sexual hormones that needed be used on her own husband. 

I drove a church bus full of horny little teenagers to church. I talked to many of them about life, hormones, lust, etc., and used the Bible to explain a lot about life. A few of them, now, tell me, "You were right, it was lust and hormones at that age." My nickname among the high school students was "Mother Cock-blocker." 

Abortion is a sore subject with me. If a child can live with more than 40% chance outside the womb, do not abort it. Please. There are alternatives. Pray before you do anything about it. God will open the door for you including aborting the child if that is what he wants. The rest of you "Shut up about it." How do you know the parent (s) haven't already prayed and that this is the answer? God does allow murder to happen. Read your Bible. Stop being pious, high, and mighty. Besides, half of those against abortion never follow up to find out what happens or loan a hand to a mother who needs help. But, they will kick women when they are down. 

Want equality? We have it already. We are all equal in the eyes of God as sinners. In humanity on earth, nothing is equal. 

I have been homeless with my children two times--living in a shelter.. I have been broke. I have had money. I have been jobless. I have attempted suicide thinking life would be better off without me. I have failed and succeeded more times than I care to count. 

I have been accused many times of lusting after men because I needed a friend. To a few men I know, trust me, I wasn't lusting after you. Some of you are in my social media group. Trust me I wasn't lusting after the four men who thought I was in 1985, 1989, 1994, 2008, or even 2013-- you five men flattered yourself way too much. Since divorce, I have had sex with three men. I was not true to my husband in my heart because of my thoughts, but honestly and physically have abstained (100% percent - 3% = 97%) 97% of the time since divorce until 2009 and  100% abstained since 2009. It is my choice and no other reason. 

Do you know me? Not hardly. I am human. Our culture has a hard time understanding humanity nor does it comprehend the definition 1/2 the time.

I professed Jesus to be my Lord and Savior when I was 6 years old.  I attended religious schools until I was a freshmen in high school.  I was advised that I was not one to be educated yet hold three collegiate degrees. I come from a very dysfunctional family. I took child psychology 101 and 102 as electives to be a better parent,  I am nothing more than a sinner. 

Do I know everything? No where near enough nor do I want to know. Am I sarcastic? Heck fire yes! 

Do I point fingers and or follow my own advice? The answer is no, not half of the time anyway. I said I was human. 

Bottom line? I am a Christian because I have professed? No. I am a Christian because it takes faith and work, hard work. 

This is one of many verses that can be found on the subject of true Christianity:

What good is it my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (James 2.14-17) 

Do you know me? No. But I will tell you this. Never label another person, until you label yourself first with a good hard dose of truth. Did I tell you everything. No. 

Get up and ask yourself  in the mirror... "Who are you?" Find out. 

My opinion. Go with God and have a serious discussion. 

Family Lessons to be learned

This is a familial lesson in which we can all learn from with understanding, communications, and there are two sides to every story in dealing with family relations. 

What is the definition of a family? It is a group consisting of parents living in a household. It is where numerous descendants share the same ancestor. In this definition it does not cover anything such as love or like. How do you love or like someone we never have met or do not know? 

Years ago, when the grandparents, parents, and my siblings were younger, we would (cousins, aunts, uncles, other relatives) gather at one of the two grandparent's houses for holidays. I would say my paternal grandmother had a much more festive gathering than the maternal grandparents. Sometimes, we lived in the same town. 

I will not be telling any little dirty secrets, because there are a lot of them on both sides of the parents extended families.

WHAT I HEARD AND WHAT ACTIONS OCCURRED:

I am going to be the center of the attention for the purpose of this blog. 

After all, this purpose is all about me, right? 

I am the spoiled rotten stingy bitch that would be beautiful if I lost weight. 

What does some man want with me? 

I see why your husband divorced you. 

Your brother did a fine job of taking care of your mother for two years, poor fellow. Why didn't you help?  (FYI: I took care of her since 1993 until 2012.) 

Why can't you make more money like your father? 

You are just like, this aunt or that aunt or your father or mother -in- law so and so.

My stupid wife took me and wanted ..... in a hotel because she was....(Use your imagination when a marriage becomes stale, one should be creative to spice it up.)

Knock on a cousin's or uncle's door who is home, that peers out the window but refuses to answer the door. That hurts.

Being told my children can't touch a toy because.... with no reasoning, hurts children. 

Being told we might be acceptable to play with a cousin by an Aunt hurts.  What is might be acceptable me?

We were not invited but everyone else was. 

Well I would invite you but, no. 

We can visit in the garage or on the porch. 

I have nothing to offer you and what do you want? 

Why won't they talk to me? 

What have I done? 

You can't do your laundry in my home any more because it is raising my water bill. I know you pay for the use of water and electricity when you do your laundry. But you can go to a laundry mat. I don't want you here. It bothers the other relatives that don't live here. 

So sorry your mother died, here let me send you some money. I know you don't have any, but this is all I can send. (I never asked for any money? No thank you. I honestly didn't need anything from you all these years but a moment of your time with a kind word and I certainly do not need your money.)

How can you send me that in an email? (My email was hacked and I apologized) It wasn't me. Please forgive me, I was hacked. I honestly wouldn't you that type of garbage in an email. (She never spoke to me again. I should have been upset at the thought she would think I would send her pornography.) 

This is what I grew up hearing as a youth and an adult. 

When I graduated with my Bachelor's degree, I realized I DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE. How many people did I piss off? A whole bunch. When my mother passed away, it really upset a lot of people who suddenly wanted to be there for me but didn't have the time.  

I love my children, I don't always like their actions. Saying that, they love me, but they do not always like my actions. The same goes for my niece and her three sons, my great nephews. They all are in my life personally consistently. I have relatives I speak with in the social media that I respect because they are respectful people that share their time. Time is a valuable asset that we all have but is not guaranteed. 

I love both siblings-- my older brothers. I refuse to associate with one because of his actions and negative energy. He had lived on and off with me as an adult four (4) times. The other one lived with me from 1995-2012 and from 2014-2015. 

Do I harbor ill will toward anyone?  Have I forgiven all of them? 

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4.31-32 

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves,but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written. "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if you enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12.17-21

That being written in the Bible, these are the actions that I have taken. 

I am not perfect. But, this is my view point. I am just a sinner who has not lived a 100% Christian life. 

Step 1 - I forgave myself for anything I have done towards these people. 

Step 2 - I have forgiven them.

Step 3- I have sought peace and to have peace means I can not have anything to do with these relatives.  However, my middle brother is included in this group. He is the only exception to the rule that I can personally live with. I will feed him through my niece. I will support my niece emotionally as well as her boys in taking care of my middle brother. But I will not associate with him. 

Step 4- I have no more enemies and harbor no ill will toward them, I just do not want them in my life. I can sleep at night. 

Many of them are deceased and some of the living are now wanting friendship. There is nothing in the Bible that says we have to associate with those whom have wronged me. I chose not to walk their path. 

If there is a family member that you are close to, love and like--learn how to make amends. If not learn how to forgive each other and let go everything to it's separate ways.  Keep peace and when you do, your heart doesn't harden. I still pray for the living. Many times in growing, we chose not to have time to know and understand each other because we a wrapped up in our own worlds. Then one day, we have no idea who they are nor they us. Growing up doesn't happen when you are under 18 and it does happen when you reach 57 for it is a continual process that we each much work at every hour we breathe. 

The past cannot be changed, but we can change. We can live in peace with ourselves.

 

Christian Confusion, what are we suppose to do?

One of my former post graduate professors shared a book review this morning. I really value, highly respect, this professor's opinion big time. When he posts something on Facebook, it is very note-worthy and should be read. The review is on a book called The Benedict Option written by Rod Dreher. My take on the review was that the book is one worth reading. I don't necessarily agree with the title of the reviewer’s blog but I would recommend this book as one to read based strictly on the review.[1]

Reading just the review helped my brain juices start flowing. Of course, when the light comes on in my brain, I seize the opportunity to make use of it. I remember this highly respected professor once mentioning in class that he strongly believes in the Nicene Creed. This made me think of another under-graduate professor, one I respect also, teaching a class based on modern religion in America. One of the text was called Selling Spirituality: the silent takeover of religion by Jeremy Carrette and Richard King. In my opinion it too is an absolutely wonderful book to read.  

For those of you who read my blog, I have to go around the world just to get to a point. I always feel that everything in life is a cause and effect and I feel Christianity has become confusing and almost way too commercialized.

For years now, I have been troubled with the concept of selling spirituality in what is called the western culture. America is the western culture and its spirituality is a multi-billion-dollar capitalistic industry. The culture of Christianity is one I am highly suspect of and strongly believe many Christians are confused in America. (Special note: I called the west – The far east is Asia. Well that can be debated depending upon where you are standing, which way you are looking, or which way you are walking/driving. It is all about logistics.

Years ago, America was not necessarily sustainable off of Wall Street investments but what gold was on reserve that could back our currency. Now our lives are sustainable off of word of mouth in a piece of paper, which is what I considered someone’s opinion. I am sure you are thinking: What has this got to do with Christianity? Good question! Our countries finances are based off of (figuratively) paper. For example: we will use Zondervan Publishing. [2] My Bible was printed by Zondervan Publishing. Their parent organization is HarperCollins, the second largest publishing company, globally.[3] Well a company this big has to be on the stock exchange. HarperCollings parent company is News Corp and they are listed as one of their subsidiaries along with NY Post, Dow Jones, News America Marketing, Storyful, and Move.[4] “Revenues at HarperCollins increased by 5% to 1.43 billion USD for the fiscal year ending on June 30, 2014.”[5] News Corp’s financial statements listed on line states “publishing” which is too broad a terms and revenue to even attempt to narrow it down as the “how much is Christian material” for me to even be ½ way credible.

My point: Big business just to own a Bible. Sure, there are a lot of Bibles out on the market. Someone had to pay for them. They were not free. Spreading the word of God in our economy is not free and hasn’t been for a while. Spreading the word of God is what Christians do. Unfortunately, there are a lot of self-professed Christians that have no idea of what a Christian does, is supposed to do, nor the true meaning of Christianity. This only means that the Christians who “have it going on” are either over worked, burned out exhausted, or are simply not working—at following the word of God.

All of this is costly. You can access any Bible on the internet for free. Joke is on you, no you can’t. Do you pay for the internet usage to access that Bible? Did you spend gas to get to work to make money to access that internet to get access to a Bible for free? I could go on, but, let us set aside this angle for a moment.

The discussion has been on the cost of Christianity to read the word of God. The same would probably apply to building a place of worship, to listening and watch the word of God. A very big commercial industry that is confusing in most cases.  Which possibly brings up a very interesting question: Do television evangelist really need a private jet to get from point ‘A’ to ‘B’? No, they do not. Are they so afraid of their celebrity status as to hide from people that they spread the word of God to? How can anyone one evangelical spread the word of God sitting behind a security gate in a home worth in excess of $3 million dollars? I will leave this subject at that point in a polite manner. It is one of my pet peeves; I dislike some actions among television evangelist as well as some of their request for funding among the masses of television viewers.

I honestly have noted for more than ten years, Americans have been borrowing eastern religious practices. An example of this is yoga. It is my understanding that yoga came from Hinduism and is a discipline for one’s spirituality. It can also be compared to siting Indian style like a Native American Indian to discuss peaceful measures or just to sit around the old western camp fire similar to what was learned in Boy or Girl Scouts.  The Native American Indian sitting practices stemmed from my youth. 

The true definition of yoga is what we will be using from the religion annals of Hindu. It is “…from the word ‘yuj’ in Sanskrit, means to unite… the most famous of which is Bhagavad Gita (dating back to 6^th-3^rd Century BCE), where Krishna speaks of four types of yoga – bhakti (devotion), jnana (knowledge), karma (action) and dhyana (concentration)… as to achieve moksha (the ultimate goal) for Hindus.”[6] Are you wondering why I brought this up and perhaps what it has to do with Christianity?

In 2008 there were 15.8 million Americans who participated in yoga spending $10.3 billion a year just so they can participate.[7] In the U.S.A as of 2010, there are 2.23 million Hindus.[8] In 2008, in America there were 228,182,000 self-described Christians. [9]  I will not assume that there are 13.57 million self-described Christians studying yoga, which is the differences in the population of 15.8 million Americans subtracting 2.23 million American Hindus. Or should I?

My point? Why would a Christian want to study a religious practice from a non-Christian religion? Why do churches have Yoga groups? I once asked this question to a self-professed, actively involved Christian middle-aged lady who was employed in a Southern Baptist University in an administrative/non-instructional position. Her answer was: “To elevate myself to be closer to God.” (I will not ever name this lady.) Well isn’t that an interesting answer.

I was under the impression that if we believe in God and the word of God, he will draw us up closer to him. Wasn’t the whole point of the Tower of Babel which was to teach a lesson that we just cannot access God simply at our wishes or request out of curiosity. We have to have faith and believe. Then, he draws us to him. He spreads his grace on us.

I was in a home a few years back of an active Christian. They had the cutest little collection of Buddha’s: some were porcelain, some clay, some silver and some just simply ceramic. I didn’t see anything in the room that denoted Christianity- not even a Bible in plain view. As a Christian why would we have religious icons form another religion that is not Christian? Would God consider Buddha another type idol?  If so wouldn’t that be a violation in form of one of the Mosaic and Christian commandments?

As a Christian not to become confused and wrapped up in the everyday life of commercialism and or what your associates are doing in church, at work, or in your neighborhood. The only person you have to impress is God/Jesus incarnate as his son. We can just hope, pray, and spread the word to those confused hoping that accept with an open heart.

“…For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” 4

Matthew 18.20

I will pose two question to Christians:

Do you know what the Nicene Creed is without looking it up?

Do you know what the Apostles Creed is without looking it up?

Some of you might answer…

“I don’t know. I am a Christian but I don’t go to church.”

Or

“I attend regularly but the subject isn’t important otherwise the minister would have brought it up.”

Or – just that or.

You can make 1,000 excuses why you do not know this.

Two of respected professors (the ones mentioned earlier on) made note of the “Creeds”, I knew what they were talking about. For years, I wasn’t sure if I believed the creeds or just plain didn’t want to honor them.  In graduate school, I asked about 20 random students if they followed the Nicene or Apostles Creed. Only 2 knew what it was. I will not tell you what they are. Take the initiative as a self-described Christian and look it up.  

Here are two links:  

https://oca.org/orthodoxy/prayers/symbol-of-faith

http://www.christianitytoday.com/biblestudies/articles/churchhomeleadership/nicene-apostles-creeds.html

Please keep in mind, this is just my opinion. I do not judge, but want each and every one to think. If you are a self-described Christian, there is a lot more to it than just stating it.  I meet Christians all the time when I am able. However, are they truly Christians or do they live in a sea of confusion without one single idea of what Christianity is? It is a faith following the incarnate life of Jesus Christ, the son of God. There are many religions that just believe in God and understand that Jesus was just a profit; and, it is okay. We all do in our lives what we can live with.

In Christianity, Jesus was more than a profit.  He is our savior. He brought the light with him and refreshed humanity to begin again and spread his word, the light, the word of God. He cleaned those with his blood that washed our souls to become refreshed.

Do not be a Christian where the spiritual artery is block, investigate Christianity. Question it. How do you fit in? What does God/Jesus expect of you?

Easter is approaching and will be here April 16^th, 2017 – Sunday.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” 

John 3.16

Faith and work is a must according to God/Jesus incarnate as his son.  We have to balance the work, no be gluttons, in the society in which we from day to day. God/Jesus is the only consistent thing in our life.

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So, also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. 

James 2.14-17

Pray and go with God. 

---

[1] Pullmann, Joy. “The Benedict Option” Review. The Federalist. 24^th March, 2017; (accessed 3.24.2017) http://thefederalist.com/2017/03/24/the-benedict-option-is-the-sunniest-prediction-of-doom-youll-ever-read/#.WNUo2cyjI7c.facebook

[2][2] **Special Note: Zondervan Publishing is one of my personal favorite groups to buy religious study materials from.  My undergrad study Bible was published by them.

[3] “Company Profile”. HarperCollins Publisher, Global Corporate.  (accessed 3.24.2017) http://corporate.harpercollins.com/about-us/company-profile

[4] “Company Profile.” News Corp. (accessed 3.24.2017) http://newscorp.com/ (NASDAQ: NWS, NWSA; ASX: NWS, NWSLV)

***Special Note – Thanks to the gentleman I called this afternoon Scottrade on Westheimer, Houston, TX., for helping find the answer to my question. He was very helpful. 24^th March 2017.

[5] Staff Writer. Publishers Weekly. 26^th June 2015. (accessed 3.24.2017) http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/publisher-news/article/66984-global-publishing-leaders-2015-harpercollins.html

[6] “Yoga Beyond Asian: Hindu Thought in Practice.” Hindu American Foundation (HAF). (accessed 3.24.2017) https://www.hafsite.org/media/pr/yoga-hindu-origins#2

[7] YJ Editor. “New Study Finds More than 20 million Yogis in U.S.” Yoga Journal. 5th December 2012. (accessed 3.24.2017) http://www.yogajournal.com/uncategorized/new-study-finds-20-million-yogis-u-s/

[8] Karerat, Raif. “Hindus are the 4^th largest religious community in the US.” The American Bazaar. 13^th May 2015. (accessed 3.24.2017) https://www.americanbazaaronline.com/2015/05/13/hindus-are-the-fourth-largest-religious-community-in-the-united-states/

[9] “Statistics Abstracts of the United States 2012, Section 1, Population, Table 75: Self-Described Religious Identification of Adult Population: 1990, 2001, 2008. PDF” United States Census Bureau. (accessed 3.24.2017) https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2011/compendia/statab/131ed/population.html  

Making Amends

This is has been a most trying week, especially Monday. I am one of three children that Dad and Mom hatched via the allusive stork of the mid to latter 1950s. At least I was flown in and not cultivated in the cabbage patch or brought in hopping with the herd of bunnies led by "Peter Cottontail."  I was the youngest following two brothers.

Monday, my only niece called me to let me know that her Father, my middle brother, was diagnosed with cancer. It is a dangerous form of cancer where prognosis can be optimistic but rarely promising, however, it can vary depending on the stage considering the overall health of the person. In this case, my brother's body may look healthy but it has been through a war zone. He never served in the military. The war zone I am referring to is his drug and alcohol abuse. This is the brother that I could not allow in my home because of his use and the fact I had small children that I was trying to raise.

I had some residential drama with his last drug use in 2001. I ended up putting him out of my home and repossessing the car I sold him for non-payment. He eventually paid off the car, but I never allowed him in my home again until my children were grown and one was on her own with her husband. I allowed him to temporarily live on my sofa in 2014. He left for awhile, mother had passed away and he returned in the summer months of 2015, only to cause another problem with his drugs, alcohol, which caused drama in the home on another level. 

I said I would never talk to him again. I have forgiven him, but I still want nothing more to do with him. 

This is the brother....

who has his own suite at the Texas Department of Corrections and the Alabama Department of Corrections

who has used our older brother's name as an alias

who had a petty crime records taller than 5 feet 4 inches (my height)

who went to work to help Mother with the bills when Dad became sick many years ago in the 1970s. 

who has compassion to paint the house of our grandmother and pay for the materials

who shaved off the remains of our Father's hair when it was falling out due to chemotherapy treatments in 1992

who I drove to the hospital many times over to be patched up from a being shot or stabbed in drug related incidents

who was the "All American" football player that Bear Bryant wanted many years ago fresh out of high school

who is a lousy Father, but he loved his daughter as well as his grandsons.

who was our Mother's favorite child and my Father's love because of his athletic ability.  (I am not saying that out of jealousy either but truthful in heart. My eldest brother and I knew it.)

who is very talented with his hands in building scaffolding and some movie sets like some of the scenery in the "Abyss" and setting up stunts in the famous Astrodome for daredevil Evel Knievel. 

who at one time thought he would make a minister when he was younger or a police officer when he was older. Our Father was never sure about either because he couldn't make any money at either profession.

who I have sisterly love but I just do not like his actions.

who Dad and Mom spent in excess of 1.5 million dollars in rehab, bail money, lawyer fees, private detectives, autos, house notes, etc., just to try to "fix him."

who has nine lives of a cat that no one ever understood why.

This is the brother we nor anyone else ever understood why?

This was called unconditional love which doesn't mean we liked his actions and or him but we loved him unconditionally. This is not a blacksheep of a family but a beloved brother. There is an occupant in his body that is not known to those who love(d) him. My brother is missing deep in a physical shell that looks like him. 

I spoke to my oldest, my son, about making amends. He told me it was something I needed to do. Again I asked myself why? I just need to, that is why. 

We need to speak to each other, to make sure his life and his soul, is right with God. This beloved brother hates dark enclosed holes. He (along with everyone in society) will at one point enter that "dark hole"-- the grave of eternity for those who have physically ceased to live anymore. He will expire. His eldest brother and I, would like to make sure that he has set things right with God. I do not want him dying not sure whether he will be joining our parents whose souls are in Heaven above with God. 

So I will break my vow of silence in our relationship and point blank ask him, "Have you made your peace with God?"  He was Baptized as a young boy, and I know he accepted Jesus Christ as his savior. But, with his life, he has lost his sight of God. He has lost God's grace and goodness that can be his only through the Father (God), the Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit. 

About a year or two ago, he scoffed at his daughter when she tried to speak to him about all of this. Well shortly here I will break the silence and broach the subject again. It is not too late for he and I to make amends and express a few sentiments. It is not too late for he to make amends with God and express those sentiments. 

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3.9

One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.”  And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into[a] your kingdom.”  And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” Luke 23.39-43

With the last breath that we have left in our bodies, it is never too late to accept Jesus Christ! God did not promise us a tomorrow. 

The Blame Game

I was born during the last of, what I call, the age of innocence. The society in which we live still had an open known virginity about it. I lived in a southern world where pornography was strictly illegal. Buying condoms were strictly a “see the pharmacists”; the purchase was in a brown paper bag. Our government never did anything wrong. Everyone read the newspaper and television was black and white. The truth of the matter we lived in a media induced society. There was illegal drug usage. We were in Vietnam with “military advisors.” Abortions happened all the time in back rooms, with natural remedies like pennyroyal, or with a coat hanger. Our government was probably investigation via a scientific experiment concerning LSD. Children were still running away or being used for sexually exploited. Abuse happened all the time. 

Dad once told me, “Bug, every person alive has skeleton’s in the closet. It is a southern thing to sweep the soiled kitty litter under the rug so that it may fall between the floor boards of the home and never been seen again.”

I never could understand that analogy. To simply put it, use the idiom, “never air your dirty laundry in public.” This is supposed to be mainly for the females in society, especially a Christian society, more than for males. Why? Females gossip more than males and have to be controlled by the head of the household. (Might I refer you to, Ephesians 5.22-24, 1 Timothy 2.11-15, 1 Corinthians 7, 1 Peter 3.7, and so on; add Ephesians 4.29, 2 Corinthians 12.20, Exodus 23.1, James 1.26 and so on.) Today, in 2017, we know that men gossip just as much as women. Men and women brag and gossip about anything and everything when given the open door.

Whose fault is? It is everybody’s fault but mine. It is everybody’s fault but mine! I had nothing to do with it!

1.       I was coming home from work, when I was rolled. (A drug addict/alcoholics explanation.)

2.       I throttle got stuck. I am not an expert on why? (A teenager’s answer why they were speeding.)

3.       She started it because she introduced him to marijuana. (A mother rationalizing a drug addiction.)

4.       I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. (A reason as to why they were charged with a crime.)

5.       He made me hit him. (A reason to strike someone.)

6.       They just kept me up all night long. (A pet owner’s reason to kill a puppy.)

Let’s face it. We can come up with more reasoning(s) and excuses of why someone did something. Instead of blaming it on someone or something else, why not just say:

                “It wasn’t their fault. I did it of my own volition.” More than 2000+ years ago, the Bible (in essence of definition) blames the fall from grace of Eden on who? A woman. A female. The weaker of the sex. In truth, did she force the fruit into the man’s mouth? Did Eve shove down the throat of Adam? If a man and woman are joined into marriage as one, equally, then it was the responsibility of the one flesh who ate the fruit knowing that they should not have done it. Therefore, it is not the fault of anyone but equally the responsibility of both men and women from the fall from grace out of Eden.

****When I say in essence of definition, man's interpretation of what is written in the Bible.

                 In politics, I didn’t vote for that candidate! It is your fault we are in this shape. You are conservative and you are a liberal. Well it is a conservative president. See what you did? WRONG! According to the founding documents of the colonial America, it is “WE THE PEOPLE.” It doesn’t matter who you voted for.

                 Another example is the Equal Rights Amendment. Why are women not getting their equal rights? It is the male corporate America who is responsible. WRONG! Definitely a wrong answer. The 1972-1982 Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution of the US, was not ratified. It lacked 3 votes of being ratified. It can still hold some validity in a court of law.

****How can a word, a concept, or inanimate object be at fault? example: Corporate America is not a person. 

                 It wasn’t corporate America’s fault, it was the fault of “We the people” failing to do our part in making sure it was passed. But, if you live in the southern states (like but not limited to Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Florida, Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Arkansas, Missouri, Iowa, Illinois, Nevada, Utah, or Arizona) then you are not corporate America. Mentioned are the states that didn’t ratify the ERA part of the 27^th Amendment to the Constitution. But, according to the US Supreme Court there are ways the legislation can be altered to make sure it means equal pay.

                 When we are referring to anything, please take stock of what you part is in all of this and do not blame someone else. In politics, like marriage, we are all one—unified or united as in states. We are to take responsibility for our actions, right, wrong, or indifferent. We should not rub our rightness like salt in someone else’s wound. We should not blame our errors on another because we are not forced to make or perform wrongful acts. Furthermore, sore losers are displaying bad life examples of conduct. (Even though, there is enough material for Saturday Night Live for the next 20 years on the political home-front.)

                   This is the final example I am giving. Undocumented immigrants came to this country. They literally took land, murdered, ran off, spread diseases, exploited through liquor the people who were already living in this country. All in the name of colonialism, expansion for the greater good.

Oh Lord, what do you think the Native American Indians were saying about the colonist?

           2017, American’s are blaming terrorism, loss of jobs, loss of property, and loss of life on Islamic (Muslim) individuals and many in the Latin community. In America prior to the mass influx of immigrants (documented or undocumented) who did we (Americans) blame terrorist acts, loss of jobs, loss of property and loss of life on? We blamed prostitution on Irish women during the Suffrage. We blamed opium on the Chinese. (Didn’t matter if it was imported by imported by American or European maritime vessels.)  We (America) have to blame somebody, surly we are not at fault for terrorist acts, loss of jobs, loss of property, and loss of life (prostitution or drug addiction.)

We are supposed to be a Christian nation?

You therefore have no excuse, you who pass judgment on another. For on whatever grounds you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Romans 2.1

So, when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said to them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. John 8.7

This is just my opinion. 

May God bless each and everyone. 

A great site---for sources

This post is short sweet and to the point.

When we are reading information on the net, it is always best to know our sources and where they came from. 

For an example Wiki? Anything that has Wiki attached to it .. beware. Check their sources. It isn't Wiki's fault that someone posted something "bogus" or utter "B.S" 

Though, it is your fault for not personally checking their sources. You must keep in mind, language barriers and perceptionism. I have been studying on Yasuke, the alleged first black Mozambique Japanese samurai. He was a slave purchase by a Jesuit priest in 1579 on their way to Japan. They were in Guinea when the purchase happen. I learned all this from the source I obtained off of a Wiki site. Unfortunately the source is not in English but French. I took Latin in college; just enough to know and translate some words. The other words I am relying on Google Translator. I have gotten enough information together to determine if the source is valid. Yes, it is a valid source. But, copying and pasting into the translator has to be done in small  portions of the script and double checked to make sure what was copied and pasted is correct. The book is a very old compilation. 

Beware of video sources as well, is the video made to promote something for money, like a book or future upcoming movie? There are some really convincing conspiracy theory videos out there. but they are made with source references taken out of context. Former President Clinton has some on him. Some really great ones too! It is not YouTube's fault there are some videos that are totally bogus. 

When I researched them, they were good sources, but the video portrayed it in a slanted, 1/2 truthful light because the author wanted to make money on his book, which ended up being made into a movie about Mena, Arkansas.  

If you need help in determining whether sources are valid or not, just shoot me an email.

This is s a great reputable source for the Bible.
http://classic.studylight.org/

I do hope that everyone has had a great Sunday?

Go with God and be blessed. 

Abuse

Today’s topic is a precarious one that a lot of people very seldom understand. The topic is abuse. I was inspired to write about abuse today just because it is a misunderstood on so many different levels. There is one abuse – emotional. It breaks down into causes, physical and verbal. The physical further breaks down into sexual, bondage, and beating. The type of bondage I am referencing, is a person being held captive against their will through restraints. I am not talking about the “sexual bondage” as seen on that less than desirable movie “50 Shades of Gray.” This is a bondage for control of one person over another. It all stems from verbal to control the emotion state of one person over another- to bend their will to perform in a certain manner. In essence it could be the same as slavery.

This use to be an epidemic problem among women and children, but as time has progressed, men are being abused as well by other men and women.  The definition of domestic abuse according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) it is, “…the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic patter of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse.  The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other.” [1] This definition is just for partners involved with each other. The key word is “to maintain power and control over another” and can happen in any situation where people are involved, such as school, the work place, parent/child, extended family, friends and acquaintances. Though, there is another phrase that should be used and it is called “with the intent to…” HARM.

                My maternal grandparents raised six (6) children in a house (it was never a home) that was consumed with double domestic abuse. Both my grandfather and grandmother were in a love, hate relationship and it spread over into their children. They wanted to control each other as well as their children. As a result, the children had mental illnesses, physical illnesses, married like people with the same issues, and they displayed periodic forms of physical abusive behavior. The three eldest were most affected and the youngest have mental illness, are not very close, and are distant in their personal (familial) relationships. Did it affect the grandchildren? Yes, it did spill over, as well, to some of the great-grandchildren. How was the cycle broken in most cases; psychological counseling and recognition through education. If anything, many of us grandchildren had strong wills to end the cycle. A few of the grandchildren died in the cycle from self-abuse; a few grandchildren continued to divorce and remarry time and time again; a few grand-children never remarried; many of them suffer from mental illness that refuse to admit it; a few are perpetual screw ups (never taking responsibility for their own actions); and, a few have a perpetual drug/alcohol addiction.  Never should abuse be used as a crutch.

           

               I will not even begin to discussed the “sexual and domestic abuse” on my paternal side of the family, but it existed too. But due to the nature of not really seeing that side of my family too often because they lived all over the world, I do not feel comfortable discussing it because I do not have first-hand knowledge on a personal level. I did not witness an abusive on going behavior on the paternal side like I did on the maternal side of my extended families.  

                Abuse just is not an American problem. It is alive and well internationally and still growing stronger with every living day. There are at least twenty (20) people abused every moment which equals out to about ten (10) million every year. One (1) in three (3) women and one (1) and four (4) men have been physically abused by a partner in the America.[2] 

In, Alabama alone 16% of violent offenses were domestic abuse cases. Of those cases 2,872 were aggravated domestic assault, 32,587 were simple domestic assault, and in ½ of the domestic violence homicides firearms were used.[3]

If you are a woman, I would not want to live in Louisiana. “In 2010, Louisiana was ranked 4th in the nation for femicide; 2/3 of these murders were committed using guns….81% of female homicides were committed by a partner or ex-partner.”[4]  

In Mississippi, the attorney general formed the Office of Domestic Violence in 2011. They were the 5^th leading in the nation of women victims to domestic abuse homicide; they have dropped to 34^th in the nation. In 2014, they did a spot survey on a specific day in September and noted they had 393 in refuge residence at domestic abuse shelters (197 children and 196 adults) and 72 adults as receiving non-residential refuge assistance.[5]

In North Carolina, 1,678 people were listed in a refuge residence or transitional housing due to domestic abuse. In 2013, there were about two (2) people who died every day due to domestic violence.[6]

In, Texas, 2013 there was 31% of domestic abuse victims with no-where to go. The shelters did not have the resources to house them. In 2013, 76,704 reported cases of domestic abuse to the police. They can only estimate what wasn’t reported. The hotline for domestic violence in 2014 for the state received 185,373 telephone calls. [7]

I chose to report these states because I have lived in these states at one time or another. This was definitely an eye opener for me. It is assumed that the gender in most of these cases are female. But, I did report as stated earlier that one (1) in four (4) men suffer from domestic abuse. They too are victims. There are some women who are meaner that a yard dog. Let me tell you this one case here in Houston. The late Professor Alf S. Andersson was killed in 2013 by his estranged girl-friend Ana Trujillo with her 5 ½ inch stiletto heel where she stabbed him at least 25 times. There was a history of her abusing him, which was never reported. She received life in prison.[8]

The answer to the male gender being abused, please report domestic abuse as well as sexual assault.

One thing I did discover in looking into the domestic abuse issue in the USA, not a lot is really being done for prevention of women who have disabilities or women who can’t speak for themselves like the average person. The National Council on Disability in 2002, there were 51.2 million people with a disability; that is 18.1% of the total population had some form of disability and 11.5% had a severe disability. For children with known disabilities, 68% of them will receive maltreatment of some form of abuse. Women with developmental dis abilities are four (4) to ten (10) times more likely to be sexually abused than the average women. But, according National Council of Disability there just isn’t enough information available to (basically) report accurately. [9] Wow! What a slap in the face for someone who is developmentally disabled. I am pretty sure that disabled people do vote and have or are paying taxes. I am one of them, I know. We are the forgotten populous in domestic abuse cases unless it is reported and makes headline news. If your child, with a disability, was in a group home, or an elderly female loved one in a nursing home, or a person incapacitated were sexually assaulted, how would you feel knowing they were violated at the hands of a care-giver?

I stated earlier that domestic violence and abuse is not just a problem in the USA, but internationally. It is worse outside the USA and is starting to filter more everyday inside our own country because of it. Therefore, to stop it is not just a national but international issue.

        53% of all people in Canada with disabilities are women.  60% of women with disabilities experience some type of domestic abuse as well at a higher risk for neglect, psychological abuse and financial exploitation. People with mental or behavioral disabilities experience domestic victimization at a rate four (4) times that of people who have none. “Aboriginal women, lesbians, older women, or women of color, the Canadians understand that they have more discrimination and barriers than the average woman.”[10] 

                For the average person in Canada, 7 out of 10 people who experience domestic abuse are female. Men are not generally abusive to their families. Women are in the majority to receive spousal abuse than men via choking, beating, threatened with a weapon, or sexual.  In dating violence, over 80% of those victims are women and girls are more likely than boys to experience domestic abuse in the family home. Children who witness domestic abuse are harmed just the same as if they have felt it and it will affect them with multiple issues when they are older including but not limited to being an abuser (one who inflicts abuse) or another victim.[11]

Now let’s look to the southern country adjacent to the USA, Mexico. In 2007, they enacted for the first time, “…a new law that obligates federal and local authorities to prevent, punish and eradicate violence against women…a ‘relentless’ fight against gender-related abuse.”  This is the first federal supported law. There have been similar statutes in many cities and states that had already been in place.[12] In the mid 1990’s, in Mexico, with the enactment of some city and state reforms (laws) to help support prevention of domestic violence programs, there was a 20% drop in occurrences of domestic abuse crimes and a “…8% to 19% decline in suicides married and cohabitating couples…”[13] More than a decade ago before any reforms, the majority of the victims either wanted to murder the person abusing them or end their lives in suicide. Now there are programs are still youthful, available to assist the victim. There have been no studies done as to the impact in Mexico or any other Latin American Country like Brazil, Chile, or Columbia – which have reforms but no measuring statistics. But, it was noted was a 6% decline in the homicide rate against married men or men cohabitating with a female partner. [14] Since it is agreed that Mexico actually doesn’t have measurement on statistics that are accurate or non-existent, I will not even bother to look at UN Statistics for Mexico, because they will not be accurate but a “we estimate number.”

And we will leave the story there because there isn’t a compilation of information on the domestic violence in Mexico. I feel relatively certain in making the statement that the majority of Mexico could be considered a third world country that has been sadly neglected in many areas compared to the USA or Canada.

My point to all of this, yesterday was International Women’s Day. I briefly scanned over the events and did not see anything really pertaining to this subject. Nor did I see anything covering sexual assault or human trafficking. Sometimes it seems, and women are no different, more interested in our sexuality, fashion, or our bank account rather than the protection of precious life that is living! Of course,  I do know that Texas has always been more interested in burglary (the ownership of trivial garbage being stolen from them) other than the life of a fellow human being, but that is the Texas I love. Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and North Caroline place a higher value on tangible goods as well than the actual lives of people.

Have you ever been hit in the face during a childhood fight or a fight with a sibling or by an adult? Close your eyes and remember that day. Was it humiliating? Did you like it? Did your father maybe take a belt to you and hit you way too many times beyond the realm of what would even be considered closely to a moderate punishment? What about your mother, did she? Did you witness the treatment on other siblings was way too harsh or out of line by a parent? Did your wife hit you the other day with a shoe, a pan or break a plate on you? Did your husband blacken your eye and threaten to kill you if you ever left him? Has someone every yelled at you constantly, picked on you unmercifully with names, told you that you are ugly? Bullying is a form of abuse. Have you ever been seriously picked on in school? I remember joking in high school, “whip me, beat me, tease me, make me write hot checks.” Well if you find the movie “50 shades of gray” interesting enough, then have your wife or husband tie you do the bed and try it out, except don’t stop. Draw blood. Feel the pain. Pain is not sexually erotic by any means nor can it been romanticized. Please do not take me wrong, I am not talking about a love tap on the rear, but inflicting pain on someone else for control over another. Pain is not funny but damaging.

End violence and report it.

If you are a woman, report it.

If you are a man, report it.

If you are a child, report it.

If you are handicapped, report it.

This paper, like all my papers, are strictly information and contain a lot of my opinion. Many may agree and many may not. I put it out there for everyone to read and determine what is true to you.

If you know of someone in need of help due to domestic abuse or sexual assault, please call (for assistance):

National sexual assault hotline                                                 1-800-656-4673

National domestic abuse hotline                                               1-800-799-7333

Please say a prayer for those you love this evening.

May you all go with God and be blessed by his grace.

---

[1] “What is domestic abuse?” NCADV. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://ncadv.org/learn-more/what-is-domestic-violence  

[2] “Domestic Violence National Statistics”. NCADV. 2015. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://ncadv.org/files/National%20Statistics%20Domestic%20Violence%20NCADV.pdf  

[3] “Domestic Violence in Alabama.” NCADV. 2015. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://ncadv.org/files/Alabama.pdf

[4] “Domestic Violence in Louisiana.” NCADV. 2015. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://ncadv.org/files/Louisiana.pdf

[5] “Domestic Violence in Louisiana.” NCADV. 2015. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://ncadv.org/files/Mississippi.pdf

[6] “Domestic Violence in Louisiana.” NCADV. 2015. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://ncadv.org/files/North%20Carolina.pdf

[7] “Domestic Violence in Louisiana.” NCADV. 2015. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://ncadv.org/files/Texas.pdf

[8] Associated Press. “Houston woman sentence to life in prison for killing boy-friend with stiletto heel.” Daily News: 11^th April, 2014. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/woman-killed-boyfriend-stiletto-life-article-1.1753793

[9] “Breaking the Silence on Crime Victims with Disabilities in the US.” National Council on Disability. 21^st Ma2007. (accessed 9^th March 9, 2017) http://www.ncd.gov/rawmedia_repository/05-21-07_jointstatement_crime.pdf

[10] “Fact Sheets on Women with disabilities”. DAWN-RAFH Canada – National Advisory Committee to End Violence against Women with Disabilities and Deaf Women. (accessed 9^th March 2017) http://www.dawncanada.net/

[11] “Facts on Violence Against Women.” Canadian Women’s Foundation. (accessed 9^th March 9, 2017) http://www.canadianwomen.org/

[12]Castillo, E. Eduardo. “Mexico Enacts law on Domestic Violence.” Washington Post- Associated Press. 1^st February 2007. (accessed 9^th March 9, 2017) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/01/AR2007020101658.html

[13]  Beleche, Trinidad. “Bargaining Intra-Family Violence Laws and Acts of Domestic Violence in Mexico.”  University of California, Riverside: Abstract, 31^st October 2009. (accessed 9^th March 2017) https://www.researchgate.net/publication/268172792_Bargaining_Intra-family_Violence_Laws_and_Acts_of_Domestic_Violence_in_Mexico   

[14] Beleche, Trinidad. “Bargaining Intra-Family Violence Laws and Acts of Domestic Violence in Mexico.”  Pp. 1-2