Yesterday afternoon, during rush hour traffic, in my home town of Mobile, Alabama, was said to be one of the worse crime related standoffs in history. It was so terribly intent. It wasn't gruesome because no lives were lost. I am thankful to God in that respect.
An off-duty homicide detective was on his way home. He saw what appeared to be a log in the road. It wasn't. It was (it is hard for me to say because of all the emotions built up inside me), to quote the detective "a gator. I didn't realize what it was until it lifted his head and winked at me. I knew I had to react fast."
He did too. He called for back up as the gator stared him down. He did a u-turn in his private vehicle and proceeded to toot the horn at him several times. The gator slithered off the road and hid under some bushes. Other officers showed up quickly, as well as the fire and rescue, MFD. They were able to build make shift bedding and throw it on the gator to make sure he wasn't to terribly armed or seeking someone's arm for a light snack. They discovered he was armed with what looked like blood thirsty fangs and red in his eyes. He was a big one, and it was about 10-13 feet tall. They weren't going to take any chances.
Supervisors were called to the scene as well as the federal agents who are experts dealing with this type of stand off. Serious onlookers showed up from all over Mobile. They had to barricade the area and shut off one lane of traffic just in case. There was some mention of this being a Florida Gator that was possibly high on PCP--with grandeur of winning a pig skin. I am sure Mobile Fire and Rescue had an ambulance or Life Flight on standby just incase he (the alleged gator in question) came out of the bushes charging. Camera crews and all the onlookers were told to stand back. The gator stayed unusually quiet for a period of time. It was also alleged that he could have been an illegal gator alien since he was near the railroad tracks. Homeland Security was notified. Mobile is not a sanctuary city--they will not tolerate such activity because they want their grant money from Jeff Sessions. Was this a terrorist act of ISIS? Did the Taliban plant this gator on those tracks at this time? FBI and Secret Service are trying to determine.
Meanwhile, the White House was called. It was Friday so there was no answer. Florida was called and Mr. President was unavailable for comment. He was on a "T" near one of the greens at Mar-a-lago meeting with Madonna to discuss how he should grab that cone with the ball attached. She wasn't sure but Green Peace and Blackeyed Peas might shed some light on the matter. With clean air and a full stomach, answers will be had.
Meanwhile, Homeland Natural Security Specialist (HNSS) showed up and determined that this was in truth a Florida Gator. They called the University of Alabama to complete the goal. Coach Sabin said, "Well it isn't season time for hunting Florida Gators yet. Just tape his mouth shut because he is still PO'd about the Mr. Elephant stomping on him last year, 54-16."
Homeland stepped up and wrestled with him. They were able to bound and gag the gator in 15 second flat. What a victory. According to Chucky U Farty (HNSS-In-house Bubber), "We aren't going to ship this one to Louisiana to become a po-boy. We are relocating him near south Florida in the everglades with the other 5,100 pythons in the area.
All and all it was horrible, Simply the worse day in crime ever in Mobile, Alabama.
God bless you all and keep you safe.
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